Dating a Spanish girl: 7 things you should know

April 14, 2017

Considering dating a Spanish girl?

Okay. I respect that.

But there are a few things you should know before you start.

I’ve written before about the benefits of dating people from other countries.

And Spanish girls are often beautiful, passionate, joyous… Everything a guy could want.

But before you pack your bags and hop on the first flight to Madrid, you should know: beautiful, passionate and joyous is not the whole story.

Because actually, dating Spanish can be quite complicated – ask me how I know.

My friend Nina and I were talking recently about her troubles dating Spanish men. And inspired by her, I figured I’d make my contribution to the conversation with a bit about dating Spanish women…

Of course, long disclaimers at the beginning of blog posts are all the rage these days, so lemme just say: Yes, I’m generalizing. Surely not all Spanish women are like the four or five Marias that I’ve dated.

If you’ve dated dozens and dozens of españolas, please leave me a comment and tell me where I’m wrong. If you’re married to one, good work. If you want real statistics, go study sociology.

And one further disclaimer: if you’re the kind of person who thinks it’s my civic duty as a foreigner never to say anything negative about Spain or Spanish people, you probably won’t like this article.

But you’ll definitely like 32 reasons why I love Spain.

So without further ado, here are 7 things you should know before dating a Spanish girl.

Prefer to listen to the podcast? Go for it!

Otherwise, read on…

Get ready to spend your summer at the beach (or in the pueblo)

Summer vacation means a lot of things to a lot of different people.

Not to Spanish girls, though.

To them, it only means one thing.

Be forewarned: if you get into a serious relationship with a Spanish girl, you can say goodbye to other summer plans… you’ll be spending your holidays at the beach for as long as the relationship lasts.

Or – if you’re even less lucky – in her pueblo.

If you’ve decided that you absolutely must date a Spanish girl, your only hope is to try to find one with a particularly nice pueblo – or parents who own a beach house in Marbella.

I remember a 40-something executive telling me, years ago, about how lucky I was to have a girlfriend from a town of 10,000 people, in a nice area.

His wife was from some dusty village of 200 souls in Murcia, 90 minutes’ drive from the beach.

And that was where he was doomed to spend his holidays, till death do us part: sleeping on a sofa-bed in the kind of place where Clint Eastwood would have gone to film a spaghetti Western.

If you don’t, for some reason, enjoy spending three weeks of every summer with sand up your asscrack and bored to tears in Benidorm…

Or watching mangy dogs lick themselves on the town square of Villafranca de Ojetes, population 22…

Well, maybe you should look for a girl of another nationality.

I hear American girls are nice.

(See? I told you I was gonna do a lot of generalizing.)

Also…

She’s used to dating guys who own cars – and live with their parents

Most of my international friends here in Madrid think owning a car in the city is insane – or at least unnecessary. And since we usually come from places with no public transport, we’re happy to grab the metro or an occasional taxi.

Walking out of the house and having such things waiting for us seems glamorous and European – almost James-Bondish.

However, for your average Spanish guy, a car is a large part of the seduction process.

Why?

Because even though he’s years out of university… he lives at home with his parents!

Just try “getting intimate” with that special lady while mom and dad are sitting on the sofa eating pipas and watching Hombres y Mujeres y Viceversa.

Just like being a teenager again, right?

Spanish girls: their idea of a hot date is making out on a bench all afternoon. If you can do better than that, you’re in the game!

In Spain, it doesn’t matter if you’re 35. You can be unemployed and living at home – sleeping on a twin bed shaped like a racecar, even – and nobody will think it’s weird.

Most people blame the economy, the real estate market, or something equally lame.

Anyway, Spanish girls are used to dating guys who own cars – or who can at least borrow one from Dad when he’s ready for some action.

But don’t worry. If you’re in your 20s or 30s and carless, but somehow manage to scrape together the money to rent a room in a shared flat, you’ve got a leg up on the competition.

‘Cause last time I checked, sex in cars was pretty awkward.

It was around the year 2001, actually – and I was a teenager.

Her fiery Spanish personality is only sometimes charming

I don’t see much of what goes on inside Spanish families. So I’m not really sure how it happens.

But let’s just say women from the South of Europe are used to expressing themselves and talking about how they feel – often at high volume.

You might see her do it with friends – shouting and waving her hands, in a group of 9 people who are all talking simultaneously.

I call it “conversational shouting”.

Nobody’s necessarily mad. Spanish people just converse in tones that sound (to us timid anglophones) like someone losing their shit.

If you should somehow become the target of this conversational shouting – and you will, if the relationship lasts longer than a few hours – the best thing to do is just breathe.

Don’t take it personally. It might not even be an argument – at least by her definition.

She’s probably just never had someone in her life tell her to calm down. Other Spaniards will let her shout – and then just shout louder in order to be heard.

He who talks loudest – and who isn’t afraid to interrupt or talk over people – wins.

Such is life in Iberian latitudes.

Here’s another one…

Spanish girls are always late – just get used to it

Of course, as a Buddhist, I practice patience and compassion on the reg.

24 / 7 / 365.

And what better way to develop patience than to wait, compassionately, for someone who needs 45 minutes to blow-dry her hair before leaving the house?

The relaxed attitude towards the passing of time is one of the things that draws many foreigners into Spanish life…

But if you’re the type of person whose heart starts racing if it looks like you’ll be 2 minutes late for an appointment, you’ve got a lot of “inner work” to do.

Dating a Spanish girl means accepting things you don’t necessarily agree with – and trying to rush her through her two-and-a-half-hour morning routine would be the height of cultural insensitivity.

She doesn’t use your flag as a snotrag, does she?

Then be cool: don’t try to hurry her hair-ironing or eyebrow tweezing.

And if you should find yourself waiting somewhere in public for her to show up, you’d better bring a book to read. Don’t even think of calling her out on her lateness.

You’re on her territory, and you’re following her rules: less than half an hour late counts as “on time”. And 45 minutes is “barely even late”. Aight?

Just deal. Don’t be so uptight about it, guiri.

And while we’re here…

If dating a Spanish girl, you’d better like paella

Ok, ok.

So some these aren’t necessarily gender-specific.

Paella with the in-laws is one of those things that ruins expat relationships left and right, because to many Spaniards, it’s completely non-negotiable.

And it’s every Sunday.

Forever.

Of course, of course… I hear you. You’re saying, “But last weekend my mother-in-law made cocido… Will you stop with these generalizations? Yankee go home!”

To which I respond, “Yes, but the Sunday before that, it was paella, wasn’t it?”

Touché.

going out with Spanish girls
I have absolutely nothing to back this up, but I’m just gonna guess these girls are on their way to eat paella somewhere.

Anyway, much like dating a Spanish girl means you’ve forgotten about any summer plans that don’t involve lying on a beach for 3 weeks, you’d also better forget about Sunday plans that don’t involve rice and saffron.

Just make sure you don’t express a love for chorizo-based rice dishes.

Trust me on this one.

Also…

Dating a Spanish girl? She might be using you to prepare for a job interview

I’m sure I’m not the only guy this has ever happened to…

You’re on the first date, thinking “Wow, a girl this cute would never go out with me back home!”

Then she mentions that she’s preparing for a big job interview, or an official English exam of some kind. It’s a few weeks or months off, and you don’t think much of it.

But she prefers speaking English when you’re together. To practice.

Okay. No problem. You speak English. You gently correct her pronunciation, teach her some colloquial expressions, and try not to confuse her with your quaint regionalisms.

Finally, the big day comes. She does her interview… Passes her exam with flying colors.

Congratulations are clearly in order.

You take her out to dinner to celebrate. You’re pretty happy, she’s pretty happy…

But soon after, she dumps you.

“Sorry, but this isn’t working out. Also my ex-boyfriend is back from the grape harvest and we’ve decided to give it another go. Did I mention he has a car? Well, at least his dad does… Anyway, bye!”

Of course, I’m not one to begrudge. Learning languages in bed is a lot of fun. It beats getting a tutor to “drill you” on pronunciation any day.

But I sometimes wonder how much these serious student girls are really into me… Was she just hanging in there for the free conversation classes?

Was she just waiting for the interview to be over so she could go back to dating guys with dark hair and the ability to get a tan?

Maybe she got sick of my carless ass and our sofa dates… Maybe she longed to go back to making out in the park with an unemployed guy who uses lots of hair gel and “goes clubbing” for fun – whatever that means.

Oh well… plenty of fish in the sea.

You might have to deal with her bizarre superstitions

“My grandma in the pueblo always told me…”

Sometimes, what comes next is a bit of hard-earned wisdom from near-starvation after the Civil War. Contigo, pan y cebollas or some such.

But it could also be some wild superstition based on the pre-scientific beliefs of the shepherds in the hills around her town.

Of course, there are people from all over who believe one strange thing or another. I’m sure this isn’t limited to Spanish people.

Here’s one that bothers me: the idea that aircon or heating makes you sick. Or really moving air of any kind – especially if you’re indoors.

I suspect this is just a myth created by the scarf industry to make sure she spends 11 months a year wrapping her neck.

The other month of the year, she’ll be at the beach, extolling the magical healing powers of seawater and kelp.

And another one: don’t sleep with plants in your room. Plants give off oxygen during the day, but at night they shoot poison gas out of their pores and you’ll die asphyxiated in your bed.

Camping is okay, though, because that’s outdoors, and it’s different air.

Duh. ‘Cause my grandma told me!

Anyway. I could go on. But let’s quit while we’re ahead.

En fin… is dating a Spanish girl worth the pain?

So is dating a Spanish girl worth it, in the end?

Of course it is!

Listen: the amount of heartbreak I’ve been through because of Spanish girls and our cultural misunderstandings is truly mind-boggling.

I’m shocked that I’m still – barely – hanging onto a shred of sanity, after all that.

But I still love them, all those feisty females. And I’d do it all again in a second.

What’s your experience dating a Spanish girl? Or a guy… Either way, I’m happy to hear your story. Let me know in the comments…

Yours,

Mr Chorizo.

P.S. If you want to learn how I went from dead broke English teacher to pro blogger and author, check out my book. Earn money with your blog, fire your boss and live the good life – here’s The Zen of Blogging. (It’s got a few stories about dating Spanish girls as well!)

P.P.S. Google’s giving me quite a bit of love on this article. Last I checked I was number one for the search term “Spanish girls”. Well tickle me pink! If you want something a bit newer, check out Pros and cons of living in Madrid. Or my article about sex in Spain is pretty good. Have fun!

P.P.P.S. Update, 2023: I’ve been teaching a bit of Spanish lately, both here and on YouTube, and I have a new article about relationship vocabulary in Spanish. You can learn how to talk about various kinds of romantic (and less romantic) relationships in that one.

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About the Author Daniel

How did I end up in Spain? Why am I still here almost 20 years later? Excellent questions. With no good answer... Anyway, at some point I became a blogger, bestselling author and contributor to Lonely Planet. So there's that. Drop me a line, I'm happy to hear from you.

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  1. I’ve experienced all of those except the weird superstitions. I’d add far right parents to the mix too. And also having to go on holiday with a group of her friends who all want to do different things but insist they spend every moment of the holiday together

  2. Oh please, don’t apologize that much… We all know ourselves.
    As a Spanish girl who has dated some cold-blood northern europeans, hearing this is quite funny. I don’t have a Pueblo nor a playa but my exbofriend could never Handel my character. I think he could not say “si, si, vale” and then just let it go (the magical sentence and reason for long lasting marriages in spain). Perhaps next time a girl goes crazy you should try with that one “si, si, vale” and then wait 30 min. It works 😀

    1. Haha thanks Juls… do I go to the bar for a caña and come back in half an hour, or should I listen to her rant? I think the problem is that a lot of us “cold-blood northern Europeans” are very focused on finding solutions rather than just talking about things and then forgetting about it.

      1. I’m so lucky to not being the typical Spanish, though growing up there has been tough sometimes, being considered as a weirdo for having higher cultural interests other than gossiping and controlling people around.
        You’re so right on the finding solutions, we complain and complain and never do anything BUT if someone does something we go for him and criticize non stop hahah
        Funny never had to eat paella on sundays. Mom never cooked lasañas, albondigas, paella… (Mercadona was for it!!) though I do miss her risottos and stews a lot!!

      2. I am from the South and I enjoy being proactive and finding solutions ASAP. And yes in the north people are colder and so much more racist.

  3. While I kind of see some of your points… I’m Spanish and none of them apply to me. I guess I’m either a bad Spaniard or good expat.

  4. Yes, I can’t handle the gang mentality when going out with my girlfriends friends. It’s infuriating. I’ve missed table reservations, films and even a concert due to the inability to move out with a congealed blob of Spaniards. Also the idea that parents are the Spanish version of Google. I’ve had my girlfriend ask me something phone her mum to cross check and tell me that I was correct. But you’re right it’s totally worth it.

  5. Hahahaha, very good piece! Although me girlfriend is quite punctual, I also stopped the waiting along time a go and just go to the bar where she can try to locate me 🙂

    This part is hilarious and very true.

    Paella with the in-laws is one of those things that ruins expat relationships left and right, because to many Spaniards, it’s completely non-negotiable.

    And it’s every Sunday.

    Forever.

    Cheers,
    JP

  6. Man, I don’t know where you meet girls. Probably you just mixed all the stereotypes you and your retarded friends lived in 10 years and put in a very shitty and quite offensive article. The funniest thing is that you come from a shithole nobody cares about.

    Most of expats are shit, you are a good example.

    Enjoy your chorizo 😉

    1. Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Iván! Of course, we both know that the only reason you’re offended is because you can’t handle the truth in my “stereotypes”. But that’s okay. We’ll keep it a secret, just between us 🙂

      1. Wow, what an original response Daniel 😉 Sincerely, I was waiting for something more from a third-row blogger.

        Obviously, there are truths in this wannabe article. One of my previous co-workers always takes her boyfriend to eat with their parents. Every Sunday. Always. Me and most of my ex-colleagues found that really weird. That is something much more usual for the previous generation, not for someone in their 20s – 30s.

        Holidays in “el Pueblo” or at the beach? That is also something from 30 years ago. Yes, still happens, but it is not the norm. And, if it was, WTF? Where is the problem?

        Most of Americans never left their country and are unable to speak any other language than a limited version of English, never read a book and only watch Michael Bay shit. Of course, I am going to offer the same amount of data to support my opinion that you used for your post. Yes, I never lived in the States, but I watched a lot of TV series and that should be enough to write this.

        You clearly have 2 problems:

        1) You think women are there to satisfy your shitty life. And “hottie” Spanish are so cool! But wow, you are a super-educated American, more evolved, and it is like dating someone from the Paleolithic for you.

        2) You lack the minimum IQ to analyze reality and understand the context of things. So, again, yes: part of what you say can qualify as a reality. But after 10 years in Spain you could do better. You are either lazy or stupid.

        OMG, I did not take my siesta, I should go now!

          1. Daniel your are right! Brilliant your answer. We all need hugs, want to be touched and loved, and if we do not get it we get headaches and have other pain. And then -Use other people as scapegoats.Omar Khayyam, “ancient “poet from Iran, says so very beutifully and correctly:” I AM A MIRROR AND WHOEVER SPEAKS OF ME, NICELY OR BADLY, HE ALWAYS SPEAKS ABOUT HIMSELF.” Thank you !!!!!! for your interesting comments.
            Excellent book: The Gift of Touch, by Helen Colton. I used this book ect. to give a thirty-minute-talk
            to Indian students at a university, English department: 100 students, 10 “grownups” from the department.
            After my talks I suggested: Please touch each other. How many did touch each other: ONLY TWO.
            A sample from the book:The Gift of Touch: How Physical Contact Improves Communication, Pleasure and Health, Helen Colton, Touch is the most important, and yet the most neglected of our senses. We can survive without sight; blind people do. We can survive without hearing; deaf people do; …But we cannot survive with any degree of comfort and mental health when we are not able to feel, to touch. Every-one of us is born with intense skin hunger. Touch is the most social of our senses. We can do everything by ourselves, see, hear, smell, taste, but not touching which requires another human being, most of the time. In a higher sense, touch gives us all kin-ship. There is something Godlike about the power every one of us possess in our hands and fingers to bring pleasure and give meaning to another human being. Walt Whitman wrote in “Song of Myself”, “I make holy whatever I touch or am touched from.”Regardless of our age, we all have the desire at some time to feel babied or nurtured by another, taken into his or her arms. For these few moments we can stop being our own doers and providers. We enjoy a respite from the intense pressures of living. We enter into a higher level of consciousness- are lifted above the ordinary plane of living. Language tells us how important touch is: 1, It was a touching experience. 2. Your words have touched me deeply. 3. “There is a touch of spring in the air”, the poet said. 4. She is lovely, she is a soft touch.5. “Don’t be so touchy”, he said to his wife.

          2. Wow, Ivan sounds angry- lol. An interesting piece. I can only add I’ve had a relationship of sorts with a Spanish woman [long distance] and it was tumultuous at best but interesting. I’m moving to Spain for six months and I hope to go on a few dates. I just hope I don’t end up on a blind date with Ivan’s sister! hahaha

            Thanks for the articles. A lot of them are helpful to a Paddy who missed the boat long ago.

        1. Im a spanish girl and i can tell i dont do most of that things. Im dating a british man and he loves to be with me. Its so easy to say “bad”things about spanish people but what about the good things? We are more open mindly, funny, we love hugs, we love to do crazy things, we dance so good, we are fucking sexy come on, we are mature and so smart. Spanish girls we are a dream

        2. Boyfriend/girlfriend is a new invention that started in the early 1900’s, it maybe started a little sooner but it was popularized. back then. Your. lack know of history shows how much you know about tradition. Who cares, I am sure most Spanish women aren’t interested in Asian men because of our penis size. There are plenty of white women hate us for that reason.

        3. Damn dude, could you possibly make yourself look like more of a triggered clown than you just did? So much anger, I think you need a Buddhist retreat.

      2. I am Spanish and I completly agree with almost everything you have related on this post, really funny post,specially the part explaning our convesational skills

    2. Why are you offended Iván? There is no need to be defensive.. just laugh at it!! I am Spanish and I actually think this article is so fun to read! Even though I don’t think I fit in that stereotype (I have lived abroad for over 10 years now, maybe that’s the reason why ;D I can relate to so many of those points haha I agree that it seems like more the kind of girl from our previous generation (I’m 36 now) but there are still many young Spanish women like those described in the article out there… I still notice when I go back home on vacation 😉

    3. Sorry for bringing this up from three years ago, just enjoying the blog and read Ivan’s humourless rant and his little jab at us expats…

      ‘Most of expats are shit’

      Only to find out that the gentleman was an expat in Bangkok (epicentre of the worst ‘expats’ on the planet…) so it was probably self-reflection on his part.

      Carry on, keep up the good work!

    4. Coming from a fellow Spanish girl: periodt.
      Most of these r things that happen like once or twice a year, and clearly he hasn’t had many long term relationships with any Spanish girl

      **also is kinda sounding like he’s the issue so…

  7. I hope don’t bother you if I ask you: did you date many girls when you were in the USA? I wonder if you were too young and unexperienced and you can’t compare between experiences.

    1. Yeah, that’s exactly right Vicente. Except for my “first love” all the rest of the girls I’ve dated have been international. So I can’t really claim to be an expert who’s able to compare.

  8. As I read this article I nod my head and think to myself “sí hijo, sí” hahaha. Above all, the holiday thing. It not only happens with girls, this applies to a lot of people no matter the gender: if you don´t spent your holiday either at the beach or/and in “el pueblo”, it does not count as holidays to many people. And well, OK, let´s go to the beach. You may be thinking of having a dip with your friends, at least. But no, many of them will spend nearly three hours laying down on the sand, in hopes of getting a good tan. How can anyone (young) go to the beach and not get in the sea?. “Do some exercise, swim a bit at least, will you????” If you are lucky enough to convince them to get in the sea, they will dip their feet, then look at the horizon, then frown, and finally go back to their beloved towel.

    And it is interesting that you mentioned the sofa-bed thing. I have experiences with that as well.

    Good article!

    1. Thanks Dani! Yeah, I had an ex who wanted to spend two weeks at the beach every summer… But she was terrified of actually being in the water. People are weird.

  9. Hi! I’m a Spanish woman living in London, I found your article to be soooo funny! I didn’t think of it before but actually what you say it’s true! nobody is all this things together but everything you say you are quite likely to find in Spanish people. I live abroad and I don’t feel quite related, I can’t understand people over 30 living with the parents … In Spain it’s soooo normal, or slow groups of people… great article!

    1. Thanks Julia! I’m glad you like the article… Yesterday I was talking to a friend who brought up another thing: sleeping in separate beds at her parents’ house until you’re married! What do you think about that one?

    2. I too have noticed that which is mostly all true… Im spanish born in spain but i dont live in spain and now living far away to another country… Notice the diferences and the odds and the oppesites that spanish people do and react in spain.

      I wouldnt call that funny but i would see that as weird.
      If your living in spain all your life.. you wouldnt have came across thinking how loud most womans are.. but if your living away from spain for many years and not living in spain you will see the BIG diferences and understanding how loud most ladies are… But living in spain your so used to it you wouldnt have came across thinking how bad it is…. because your hearing shouting day and night everydays in spain. But living away from spain you see the big diferences.

      Spanish people are a little bit strange…. But.. Not saying its bad just seems odd. Specially the loud noise all in spain.
      Its almost as if every spanish person living in spain are on the nervs constantly its why they speak loud and shout… Do people seriously need to shout in order to call someone across the road.street ? Like you relise people can hear your conversations but most spanish people always used the terms as (I don’t care) maybe because spain is rather messy its understood how noisy spain is all the times because no one cares..

  10. I’ve dated a lot of Cuban women in my time spent to Cuba over the last couple of years flying back to tomorrow for a few mouths in cuba so can spend time with my Cuban girlfriend and family out of all the ones I’ve had in cuba I’ve been with this one the longest and seems the best over all cuba is difficult to get you’re head around let alone around spanish women most of them feel thay are Olney a woman ones that have a kid so as soon as you get a girlfriend in cuba it’s the first think thay will keep asking for unless they have one with another man who thay still seem to be in a relationship with or using you for money some of theam are varry different from that tho thay say it’s not possible to find the Virgin Cuba I myself as found a few the onley problem is than thay become overly attached to you which can get very annoying but they also pleasure your every need treasuring every moment with you and treating you like a King there are also women out there and Cuba it won’t be your girlfriend for money or just sleep with you for money the one I’m with now is perfect for me that’s y it’s lasted so long good for the both of us we are like a team beaver I got it but if I don’t got it she’s got it or i have money or she has some money all ways taking care of each other never ask me for any thing but wan i feel like she might appreciate something where I think she’s after something I usually help her out it’s a rare find but she’s more less a Cuban woman in a Canadians body inspirit of attitude but always happy and willing to do whatever to keep the both happy i am moving to cuba in a while now that we have a child and got residency p.s you’re write-up was great i injoyed reading it thanks looking for more of you’re blogs

  11. As a Spanish expat abroad, I love reading what foreign expats in Spain think of my country. I found this article very funny. I think I must be the “least Spanish” girl ever because I can only relate to loving paella :).
    I have a comment to add regarding this bit:
    ‘Here’s one that bothers me: the idea that aircon or heating makes you sick. Or really moving air of any kind – especially if you’re indoors.’

    This is more than an idea, it’s true. As a UK resident, Brits’ obsession with having aircon at full blast when it’s totally unnecessary annoys me… Gosh, A LOT. I need to carry an extra cardigan everywhere because it’s always freezing. And it’s not my first time abroad (I’ve lived in Russia and the Baltics, all of them far colder than southern England).

    Aircon makes me sick. The only time I did a long train journey in the UK in winter, not only it was on, it was blowing right on my head and it couldn’t be switched off. I told the staff that would make me sick, and they laughed it off. I got sick, of course, throwing up and with a terrible migraine, and it ruined my weekend. Another time, flying with BA in winter to Moscow overnight, the same story. ‘It’s too hot inside the plane. We can’t switch it off’. I spent the whole flight awake because of the cold, wrapped in my coat.

    #RantOver

    Keep up the good work in your blog!
    Irene

  12. Hi there Mr. Chorizo, I just wanted to say that I’m not agree with this post, first because I’m a Spanish girl and I’m extremely in love with my american boyfriend, I will never use him for an interview or business or just be with him because of the fact that he has a car.
    And it’s possible that some spanish girls are loud, but you can’t generalize, but it is true that we are so funny and we don’t care at all about shouting in public or do stupid things, because it is funny and I think people actually enjoy our company a lot.

  13. Ahh what a great article! I’m an expat living in a real small “ pueblo” my experience after 2 years is the same as yours, of course there are many spaniards that don’t attend to sunday paellas or don’t even go to the beach during the summer and stay at home eating pipas, but boy they are noisy! and love to argue about the smallest things, I’ve also notice gossyp is the thing to do and is not exclusive hobby of the pack of old ladies who have nothing else to do (after cleaning the house of course) grown man also love it, doesn’t matter if they are working or in the “paro” (unemployed) there’s always time to burn someone out and spend hours enjoying themselves. I also have notice they called the pig the same as the chinese people to whom they considered less worthy than them (same thing with any other minority). If spaniards get offended by this comment and this article it’s ok. Nobody likes to read negative comments on their culture that’s the reason why Mr. Chorizo (god I love this name) told u… not to read the article.

  14. As a spanish guy from Andalucía, I have to say this article is mostly true and pretty funny, theree are generalizations obviously but it seems to me very right.

  15. Despite its cutting-edge bio-med industry, America has yet to curb that shocking epidemic of self-loathing that Ivan Fanego shows advanced symptoms of: gratuitous, predictable, and unoriginal criticisms of America; triggered and humorless virtue signalling at the first hint of anything less than effusive praise for other cultures (Dengue fever and huts made out of pooh are charms outside the reach of America’s materialistic imagination); projections of inferiority directed at the very traits forever beyond their reach (high IQ and the attention of pretty girls, in Ivan’s case); and the telltale signs of adult virginity and cuckery: male feminisim, high estrogen levels, and unkept beards. The world weeps for you Ivan.

  16. I only knew one Spanish woman quick to anger quick to love pretty honest though she tell you before you piss me off you better hide all the knives in the house.

  17. I only knew one Spanish woman quick to anger quick to love pretty honest though she tell you before you go and piss me off you better hide all the knives in the house.I would like to find a girl who would always be honest with me,no mater good or bad or how bad it was going to hurt me just to realize how much respect four people that now’s how important honesty is to me.I have had a lot of parents mad at me for refusing to lie to their kids.to hell with tradition is that lesson that you wounded to tech you’re kid it’s okay to lie and be desfull. Not me 20year later and that know that no mater what I will no lie on purpose no matter how uncomfortable the conversation I might tell them that is not for me to say go ask your parents but I will always be truthful,you wounded a kid can feel if they think how many times there parents have lied to them it might not seem like a big deal, I have had that conversation with little ones many times more than you would expect, it’s hard to explain to a kid that there parents are ignorant and don’t know any better cuz if you look you mite find that that lie to themselves way more than they will to you.

  18. Hi,

    I dated a couple of Spanish girls in my late 20’s when I lived in Barcelona. A lot of what is listed above is true but not really that important however the thing that I failed at is that, as an Englishman, English girls would expect to be given options when taking the lead in going out. Maybe, ‘Hey hon, fancy going out? There’s a good movie on … and there’s that new restaurant… etc’, and then she’d contribute, ‘Oh yeah, that restaurant sounds nice…’ and she’d feel I’ve taken her feelings into account. With a Spanish girl though, its quite different. To succeed, just act like a chauvinistic pig, ‘Right, I like the look of that new movie, get your coat on.’ and she’d get her coat on and feel like she was dating a strong, decisive man. I know this is the case because that’s the very reason my first girlfriend told me we were through and Spanish male and female observers (friends of mine) confirmed this was the case. The English way of doing things is seen as feeble and unmanly.

    Having said that, that was over 20 years ago and the younger generation may well be quite different, so if you’re thinking of dating someone in their late 40’s, this information might help.

  19. Spot on dude ive lived in spain for 5 years and every Spanish girl i have dated as at least some of these quality’s, and many of these girls became ex gf because of these quality’s. life is too short to spend in a pueblo every weekend or a beach every summer. or eat the same repetitive food every weekend. and the novelty of the shouting soon wears off.

  20. I like Spanish women, they’re beautiful they’re fun you know they are. BUT, their families are extremely difficult to understand or put up with. Surprised it’s not mentioned. It almost makes it impossible to settle down with a Spanish woman. The family always gets in the the way. Trust me.

    1. Yeah, I haven’t gotten far enough in any of these relationships to have to deal with the family all the time. But I’ve heard it’s rough. Thanks for commenting!

  21. Hey Man!! You really made up, you’re research work seems that you’ve written what Spanish girls are all about mostly and what they prioritize in their life. You’ve delivered in your article what is been mostly heard for the Spanish women,but cannot miss saying that your bold description can blow the mind off of any guy and if he is interested particularly in the time spending stuff ,he’ll for sure could not resist much far now from the plan of dating a Spanish girl and must be curious to get acquainted with all the sensual stuff, still you gave the crystal clear idea of what mindset do Spanish girls possess and ‘Oh yeah, must say you really fragrant-ed the environment.

  22. Very funny…generalising of course…but I bet all Spanish/Anglo etc relationships recognise some of your anecdotes…I certainly do.

    My biggest learn is ‘Si si vale’.

    Viva España…

  23. Hi Daniel! I’m an expat Spanish lady and I have to say this article is hilarious and so true!
    Maybe some people feel offended, probably because they have never lived abroad and do not realize about!
    About me, unfortunately I don’t have a pueblo or home on the beach, and I do love to spend my holidays discovering exotic different countries. But hey! I have to stand for my Spaniards and in our defense I will say: if you don’t understand why we love to lie down for hours to get tuned is because your super white skin has not other choice than become red! I’m sorry! 😛
    I don’t identify myself in others but in the love for paella! Come on! Everyone do!
    But still a good article, I guess also you are exaggerating to make it a bit funny right? Because you love Spain, otherwise, why are you still there? All my Asian friend when traveling in Europe fell in love with Spain… what Spain and Spanish we do have? ^^
    Love and good vibes!

  24. Well… I’m a spanish girl and I don’t know where are all this things coming from… I think you dated some teenagers. Next time try to date women and not kids.

    Regarding the playa or pueblo… don’t make me laugh. We love where we are from ( me, Andalucia and yes by the seaside ). Obviously I will take maybe some days of a week in summer in my place ( well not exclusively in summer as we have from March till November sunny days so I don’t know what you say that regarding the summer ) I even go to the beach in December ( 18-19 degrees right now , the max).

    About the car… in which year did you go to Spain?? Hahahaha how ridiculous! Seriously you think we care about the car?? We don’t care the car my love. We care about who you are and, maybe if you have any house or room for being with you. So you sound very ridiculous.

    Paella? Another stupid thing… we have a lot of good dishes. Have you tried salmorejo? Gazpacho? Coquinas ? Gambas? Almejas? Do you really think we care about if sometime like what we would like to eat? We don’t care my love. Spanish women are very independent so if you don’t like any dishes we will just order o cook for ourselves…

    Speaking loudly you mean? Well depend on the person. Here in London I saw English people shouting a lot, specially when you see drunk. Which is the 90% of the times. 😉

    The only thing which I agree from your ridiculous paragraph is about speaking with the hands. Yes we do. We are quite passionate and expressive. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

    P.s: stop of dating teenagers, it’s an advice and next time you want to date a spanish girl don’t expect from us to say “ yes my sir” because we are not like that. We say our opinions, we are in the XXI century man!

    I dated some british guys, well English and for sure never mind. So cold and so focus on parties, pints every 10 minutes and cocaine… and apart from that bad sex in all the ways. Are you like that as well? Just the next time think before writing. All of you complain about Latin women but after you want us. <3

    Con cariño,

    Lorena

  25. My dear,

    There is one thing as Turkish I know who have been in more than 6 months relationship with Turkish, Hungarian, Italian, Romanian, Portuguese, Brazilian, Chiniese and German. Among all those, I really prefer the Spanish. Actually how I endes up here was asking the question to Uncle Google “Why are the Spanish girls too good in bed?” So far I spent my 4 months with having short term stuff or one night stands with Spanishs and in between one American and one German. After the German one, I felt there is some shit wrong with me, till I had today with Spanish.

    Why they are good? No drama, no bounds, no complaints each simple moment. Above all, they are so open and direct and don’t think to much about what they want to say and more is that they are so far the most culturally informed and unbiased people.

    So, you might be a little unlucky most probably like i have had with Germans 🙂

  26. Hi Daniel! Here a spanish (well, catalan) girl, right now living in the UK and going through all the Brexit nightmare. I reached your post after having today an interesting conversation with a female coworker about all the xenophobic abuse I’ve been suffering since the referendum. I told her how curious it was that only english ladies seem xenophobic as no men here has ever told me anything disgusting, only smiles. Then she told me that it’s because all english men think that spanish women are super hot and that was mentioned by my male coworkers about me quite often. Yep, think I’ll never feel comfortable again while at work, so embarrassing.
    I found your post hilarious, and as all stereotypes, even if most of them don’t apply to me, there’s always a base of truth. Well, we shout a lot, have strong family ties and enjoy the slow paced life, and these are facts not stereotypes. So ignore my fellow spaniards who got so easily offended!
    One last thing, are you aware of the stereotypes that most european girls have about north americans? I never had a yankee boyfriend, so don’t know if it’s true that you’re the worst lovers in the world… Maybe that’s the reason why you can’t keep them for a long time ;P
    At least now I can confirm that the stereotype of british people being ugly is quite true, I mean, in general, is more difficult to find attractive people here than in any other european country and the best looking ones are always those with a mix of gens from other countries or ethnic backgrounds (sorry, brits, you have amazing features but being hot is not one of them).

  27. Hey dude, what you have written is just shit. I’m a Spanish girl and apparently you haven’t dated a real woman in your life. What you describe it’s a relationship with a teenager… uh, uh, next time try to find a woman with a house, a car and enough money to travel around the world, instead of a girl in age 16. I only agree that we can be more passionate about our feelings, but it doesnt mean we are noisy, screamers or unpuntuals. Sorry but it looks like you have read a lot of books and not experienced what saying. Maybe you need a leave in your pueblo.

    1. Umm.. please tell me that the using you for a English teacher isn’t true. I’m Romanian-Hungarian born and I can barely type English as it is, I’ve started a relationship with a girl from Spain and I’m trying to learn and respect her culture. And I honestly have no idea what I’m doing yes we aren’t adults but we are 18 so I hope that counts for something…I mean she said she wanted a serious relationship when I met her and she keeps telling me how afraid she is of being hurt but …now what… At least I’m dark hair ….😐

  28. I was very amused by reading this article.

    I don’t have longer experiences with Spanish woman, but with Italians. And it so fits.

    Additionally I have to add one mistake I have done at the “Notorious Sunday” Lunchs. I have been asked if I liked the dish, and my answer was, “oh this one I liked particularly , was a new thing and I really liked, never had that before.

    Big mistake. I was doomed to eat that every Sunday ever after.

    Thanks for this article Daniel, I could read up to point 20…
    cheers

  29. I think this article is both right on and not right on. If Spanish women are late for you is because they are prejudiced since you do not speak Spanish. Spanish women would never let someone they respected wait, never. This is desafio…..You are supposed to walk away and never look back. The fact that you kept going out with them admits that you are whooped and quite frankly a loser. What would we think of a woman who kept going out with a man who was late. Think about it!!!!!.

    Second, and I am Spanish and English, both, I can tell you that you should relish and love the fact that you get to spend the weekend at her “pueblo.” There is nothing better in life than this because of the following:

    The people are super smart, super attractive, and super friendly if they know you are attached to a Spanish person.
    The pueblo is super clean, super beautiful and problably has many UNESCO sites if it is in Spain or gorgeous places with plenty of history.

    If it is a pueblo, there might not be many tourists.

    The food will be the best you ever had.

    What could be the problem? Is it that you are too dumb to learn Spanish or speak it correctly? Problably………Is the pueblo too family oriented, too beautiful? Do you want to be at a New York gay parade instead????????????………..

    This is why Spanish women do not show respect to men who are not smart. You have to be worthy. I agree, though, they should never tell you they are going out on a date unless you speak impecabble Spannish, but you are problably being used so they can learn English. Spanish women know just how attractive they are and how much power they wield and they know how much you long for a “latin romance.”

    Simply do not go out with them until you learn perfect Spanish, if you are able. Then you can have them treat you with respect. They are not racist. They just want smart men.

  30. i read the article and how ivan talks to you and i m gonna take balance of the situation
    i know spanish people are finder keeper and loud but when someone take serious comment like ivan you cant avoid commenting something completely of topyc i know can be little rude plenty with insults but as spanish its pretty normal expressing like that its completely unnecesary maybe where you living the way of express emotions and solve problems are diferent but right here ivan probraly its the most calm subject you can met in this blog

    i think the pueblo or playa its something in 90s and believe me where i living nadie use someone spents time in pueblo or playa because we have a monetary crysis and its imposible have apartment and nowadays gradma the young people thinks are useless but in my generation granphas are wisdom and told so well for everything

    as i spanish i met cases of you must need relation of family or probraly your destiny its sealed because family are important your experience as someone spanish girl its interesting because its impossible to say its the reality when your girldfriend its spanish

    depends in where part you are in spain girlds behave with a concrete way andalucia have pros cons if you living in barcelona are different

    in overall i dont know where exactly its that girl but maybe if you tell me what exactly where she is its more likely possible tell you its normal or you find the exception of the rule

  31. I am married to a Puerto Rican male. He is a graduate of an ivy league law school and a successful attorney. His mother has never forgiven me for: stealing her (only) baby, being blond and green eyed and refusing to let her buy underwear for him.

    They speak with three volumes: loud, louder and loudest. I love him and I am glad we live 109 miles away from her.

  32. This was the stupidest blog post ive ever seen not accurate at all and you dont know anythingso u chose to write this garbage

  33. I laughed when you said that when Spanish women talk, it sounds like somebody is losing their shit. This can be very true. I live in the US and am half Spanish, half English and I know what you mean. Whenever I am around my Spanish cousins, I feel like a wallflower, but here I am known as the funny one and the life of the party. It is truly an amazing difference and I cannot get a word in when I am with my Spanish cousins because I am not used to shouting to enter the conversation…. However, I have to tell you that nobody messes with them out in the world They wield authority and people submit as if they were queens.

    Not true about being late, though. This is racist on your part and defamation. The English have a history of defaming the Spanish (look up the anti-Spanish propaganda). If a woman is late when you date her, it is because she does not respect you and you should understand that Spanish women are extremely snooty and most of the time, have no interest in being with a foreigner. So if she is late, she is doing it on purpose to show you lack of respect. It is abusive and you should walk away. She would not treat someone she respected like this. Spanish are never late to work, for instance. I am sorry to break this to you.

    It is funny how you say that going to the pueblo and eating paella is bad. Paella is a very sophisticated dish (not like fish and chips or mcnuggets) and it is beyond sublime. It is very expensive because of all the seafood and saffron. The people in the pueblo are usually super educated, super smart, and super likeable and the pueblos are gorgeous, not like the strip malls that I live around and the suburbian neighborhoods that are around here with houses that look like boxes. Basically you are describing paradise and complaining which is very crazy of you. My guess is you just want the girl to yourself, but she would rather be with her people and in a social situation. Spanish women are very, very social and this obviously does not suit you. You should be with a Finnish girl. In the alternative, you do not speak Spanish and cannot even begin to relate to the people that she loves. This would also be a huge problem and spells doom for any relationship. As far as all the sayings that the Spanish grandmas have given us, which you call superstitions, they are very, very wise. Spanish women are extremely wise and very smart, especially when it comes to health matters. It is not superstition, but pure science. It is true that plants should be put outside your bedroom at night and you should ventilate your room when you sleep. This is just obvious and it has a basis in science. Your prejudices make you say that this is superstition and if you were my boyfriend, you would be history after such nonsense. I would make you read the scientific articles that back up what you call superstitions and then have you call yourself stupid and beg for an apology, but I would still throw you to the curb. As far as Spanish men living with their mom when they have a job, kudos to them. Americans are very wasteful and spend money on what is not necessary. Renting is throwing money out the window, so why not pay the rent to your mom, so the money is recycled within the family. Why give it to a stranger? This is dumb…….What is wrong with living with the family? Is it that you cannot have wild parties with your friends or have sex with your girlfriend? Well you can still have sex with your girlfriend in your room and you can have parties, but the parents will be present, which does not bother anyone in Spain as we are all family-oriented types. Sorry that you hate your parents and their presence so much. If you liked them and enjoyed their input and company, you would understand why living with mom until you are married is wise in every way. Americans are spendthrifts and you need to understand that being a spendthrift is considered a sin in Spain as is throwing away food, not recycling, and such, but again, why in the world would anyone pay rent to a landlord when they could pay it to their mom………ridiculous concept. It is also true that the family does everything for the family. I love this. I have a Spanish family and an American family. The Spanish would go out of their way for me, but the American never, ever would. I know this. I feel much more loved and supported by the Spanish family and this is good, not bad. How in the world can you argue that it is bad to have an extremely supportive family…….You are sounding crazy again……Yes Spanish women are loyal, but not all. The people in the South, not so loyal and known for stabbing in the back. The people in the North are known for loyalty, so be careful there. There is one thing that Spanish women like about British men and that is their accent. WE do like this accent, but that is all. If she was dating you, she problably was using you to learn better English for her job interview, since you said she was late. This meant she could care less about making a good impression on you and was abusing you, yet you still stuck around. I am sorry if you developed any feelings, but it does sound like you are bitter, saying she only used you for English (which is problably quite true). I am sorry. It really does not sound like Spanish women are right for you and you are right for them, so go out with the fish and chips eaters!!!

  34. No me he podido reir mas con tu artículo, ha sido increíblemente divertido. No me siento identificada casi con ninguna, pero hay mucho de verdad, con mucha dosis de humor.
    Pero que sería del mundo sin las excentricidades de cada cultura? Precisamente estaba buscando artículos, sobre las excentricidades británicas, y después de leerlas algunas dije para mi, veamos la película desde el otro lado de la pantalla. Y me he reído y mucho.
    Viva la diversidad cultural y sus excentricidades!

    Saludos desde Londres

  35. Currently dating a Spanish girl in Sydney. Wow, you´re literally spot on. Been dating for 3 weeks, I know she likes me, but I have no idea where this is going xD haha. I guess I´ll just enjoy it while it lasts!
    Summary: she has 40 plans every day, she´s loud, extremely charming and of course ALWAYS late! AND she gave me her number in a café. So if this goes to hell, I didn´t even initiate it haha

  36. Hahahah this article made me laugh.
    I feel sorry for the “ass-burned” people that cannot take this article with a touch of sense of humour, but I see that you can see those same people (oh well, their other countries counterparts) in other articles such as this one, just change the “spanish girl” in the title with whichever nationality most pleases you.
    I been living in Valencia, Malaga and at the moment in Madrid and I encountered many of these stereotypical ladies hence why it was so funny, I actually showed this to a Spanish friend of mine and she laughed at it too saying that althouhg she is not like that (nobody is, nobody, apparently 😉 ) it sounded very true to her too.
    Lastly, thanks for this blog, I been reading it (in a very chaotic way) at times during the years, especially before to move to Madrid and now I was here again because I was looking for infos about living in Barcelona as it will be my next stop (no, no, I’m not following you) on my “find the place to call home” never ending life quest (I already lived in 4 countries and several major cities aaaaaand, still looking.)

    Anyways, all of this to say thanks, I like how you write, sometimes I read some useful stuff from you, keep it up, I probably drunk too much wine by now (bloody quarantine) and who knows maybe one day we will end up having a pint in Barcelona

    Cheers

    Roberto

    1. Yeah, Roberto, everyone says “So true! But I’m not like that at all…”

      Thanks for commenting! Let me know if you’re in BCN one day.

  37. Hi there!
    LOL with your writing. You’ve got it perfectly; good, witty observer you are, mate. Men have similar traits, more football ariented though.
    Spain is a very noisy country. Madrid tops. Honking all the time, people yelling. For them that’s the usual.
    The “pueblo” thing it’s a socio-economical fact: there was a huge shift of population in the 60s-70s from villages to big cities, mainly Barcelona, Madrid, Bilbao and Valencia. Barcelona was then the biggest city in Spain. This massive shift altered the sociology of cities, as this people had a “pueblo” mentality, which is alright so far but it’s different from the urban thing. That’s why in Madrid you’ll find few people with Madrid parents, e.g. It’s not true that this is mentality from the past; now you have the 2nd, even 3rd “pueblo” generation living in the big city with pueblo manners, habits, mind, way of thinking, even way of talking (Madrid Spanish isn’t the best, “Ponte el cajco, Dan, cuando leas a Ivan”). Besides this, in the 60s-70s there were circa 4M Spaniards working in Europe, emigrants.
    Things are fine as far as there is an evolution, even slow. Having said all this, think also that Spain is not that Mediterranean. Are Caceres, Zamora or Ciudad Real really Mediterranean?
    Women are not exception to all these recent changes that shocked a peasant, almost feudal society until the 60s.
    Keep on with the good, ironic work.
    L
    p.s. Even more LOL with the comment about the far right parents.

  38. Hello, Daniel,
    Nice posts.
    You probably have not been back to Lucero lately. Last year, we spent some days in an Airbnb there and enjoyed the area. The streets were clean and calm; the people, very orderly. The apartment was one of the nicest that we have been in Spain. Our host, who was from Latina America, waited for us with a cocido.
    Un abrazo,
    Cesar
    Miami, FL.

  39. OMG… I wonder who you dated, because this is all wrong…
    Maybe you need some time still to get
    The only truth in your article is the temper that we have.

  40. I recently met a girl from Madrid. She is hands down the most Beautiful woman I’ve ever met. Shame because I am a train wreck. Still it’s nice to dream !

  41. First time in Spain. Madrid.

    Girls are physically ok. However passive aggressive. Prostitutes mostly 40 plus so so looking. I recommend Thailand.

  42. I’m sure your heartbreaks are due your stupidity not the cultural differences…. what a stupid article !!!!!!! xDD how old are you?

  43. Cuantas chorradas juntas. Sólo te ha faltado decir que todos vamos vestidos de flamencos por la calle, dando palmas con un clavel entre los dientes ja ja ja… El absurdo de intentar reducir a todo un país tan variado y rico culturalmente, en cuatro líneas mal escritas.
    Luego están los desgraciados que han tenido que emigrar y vuelven de vacaciones con esa mirada del que se cree superior, renegando de lo suyo. Pobrines.
    Espero que en estos años desde que escribiste esta crónica hayas aprendido a escapar de tópicos, clichés y generalizaciones. Un saludo.

    1. I think mostly what’s changed since I wrote this classic piece of Hispanophilia is that people have less sense of humor. I hope yours comes back soon, Pilar! Have a great week.

  44. Air conditioning not only is unhealthy but probably was invented by someone who wanted to exterminate the human race. There is nothing that makes me sick faster than a/c, everytime.

  45. *”24 / 7 / 365.”*

    Congrats on living on the outer edges of the asteroid belt bro.

    Yeah, see, you don’t actually see this blunder in Spain. A year has 52 weeks; a year with days of 24 hours, weeks of 7 days, and 365 weeks a year is in an orbital period five astronomical units out from the sun. Not one.

    Anyway, been living in first the Costa del Sol for a few years, and now in a city near Avila for half a year.
    Spain is great because it has no future, and so as soon as you accept that you don’t need to worry about anything because it will all end in tears.
    Currently they are busy replacing people with pigs, after having messed up what aquifiers they had with clorpyrifos and other things which makes they children retarded (look at a strawberry in a mercado, you can’t tell the difference between it and a plastic one).

    But it’s cheap because they have no social mobility, so.

  46. Truly generalised by not off the mark. Vaya tela las españoles…!!
    Ive seen and heard all of the above. 18 years in Spain and many years in Spanish relationship. I’d say the biggest issue for Spanish women is the oft practiced negativism, negationism as a sort of past time. Seems more women than men curiously. Always willing to bring things down, crtisize and lambast. No one can be better than anyone else! A beautiful mix of negatvism and universalism and hens a sort of strangely dark outlook on life beneath the alegria abundante.

  47. Nothing to do with dating, but a little background: We are fortunate to be living in Spain (Valencia), and love it. For many years, Valencia was considered as little more than “the beach” to proud madrileños, and little known elsewhere. Now the city is enjoying a huge popularity boost having been named “Best Place to Live in the World”. So, is it perfect? Of course not. Are the people sometimes loud, late or overly bureaucratic? Sure. But in exchange, they love their families and friends. They are proud of their country and its many traditions. They are passionate, kind, and generous. They show childlike wonder at things the average American would barely notice. Thanks to great food, weather and genes, they are exceptionally attractive. If there were more or better-paying jobs here, I’m sure they would happily never leave. And I understand completely. Our son currently attends conservatory here, and has been thoroughly enjoying every opportunity to get to know these wonderful people. He comes from a very different social background, so I imagine they see him as “different” too.

    1. Hey Marcos, yeah, I love Valencia. If I could organize it, I’d go live there instead of Barcelona in a second. I’ve visited 5 or 6 times and loved it every time. Thanks for commenting!

  48. Hahahaha I’m a spanish woman from northern Spain. I don’t fit in that stereothype very well, but I find the article very funny.

  49. Maybe you met this kind of girls because you are a true *paleto*, Mr. Chorizo

    To write such an article you certainly need to be one of them, worse than those in the pueblos.

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