Sex in Spain – 5 things you need to know about Spanish lovin’

May 28, 2018

Looking for some sex in Spain?

This post might help. Or at least entertain you while you find someone to do the deed with.

Let’s start off with a personal story…

My second week in Madrid – this was many years ago – I took a walk in Casa de Campo.

As I wandered between ancient oak trees, suddenly an old man appeared – a typical Spanish grandfather with a green coat and a flat cap. He even had a cane, if I remember correctly.

¿Quieres que te haga una mamada? he asked.

I was, like I said, new in town. And I had no idea what a mamada was.

I assumed he was just being polite, somehow. Maybe I looked lost. But I just gave him a confused stare. So he rephrased his question: ¿Quieres que te la chupe?

Aaaahh… Okay. I knew the word “chupar” at least.

Turns out, Grandpa wanted to blow me.

It was (almost) my first sexual experience in Spain – geriatric fellatio in the park.

(I say “almost” because I politely declined. Nice of the old guy to offer, though.)

Anyway, the time has come to talk about sex in Spain.

Buckle up, buckaroos!

We’re in for a wild ride.

First up…

Sex in public: it’s a thing

Public sex isn’t limited to granddads offering sexual favors in the park.

Years ago, I was hiking in the Valle de Lozoya, a beautiful valley in the mountains north of Madrid.

Walking along the river, I caught a glimpse of flesh in the distance.

“Check it out”, I said to my girlfriend. “Some guy’s just standing there naked.”

I thought it was just one eccentric out tanning his dingdong on a summer afternoon. But a hundred meters further along there was another: some middle-aged dude standing up on a boulder, buck naked and sunning his wang.

Two more naked guys later, my girlfriend suggested we take our walk somewhere else. Either we’d stumbled onto a very remote nudist riverbank, or the guys were there looking for love.

Sex in Spain on the beach
I hear beaches are a good place to have sex… And Spain has a lot of them! Photo by Adam Kontor from Pexels.

Is actual sex in public common? I’m not sure.

But today in researching this article, I found quite an interesting report on dogging in Spain. And apparently there are some very active websites dedicated to sex in public places.

Check out mispicaderos.com for all your needs – users there share advice on how and where to have sex in bathrooms, public parks, cars and more. Schedules, lighting, where to have sex with complete strangers, information about parking and what to wear to signal that you’re looking for a good time.

Scrolling around, I found out that just down the street from home, I have a park that turns into a swingers orgy after midnight – I’m (somewhat) shocked!

I guess that’s what I miss by going to bed early.

The website also has info about where to sneak a private moment on university campuses, in office buildings, at your local Burger King and more.

I guess in a country where many people live with their parents till their mid-30s, it’s no surprise that the youngsters have to get creative to get funky. And oldsters – well, they wanna have fun too.

Another big topic…

A bit about prostitution in Spain

Turns out that prostitution is legal in Spain – or at least not illegal. Apparently it exists in a sort of grey area which isn’t covered by any existing laws.

Sex trafficking and pimping are illegal, but the act of prostitution itself is technically permitted.

In my old neighborhood in Madrid, Tetuán, we had quite a few brothels. As well as girls working on street corners and people putting flyers on cars for one service or another. Erotic Massage. “Saunas” where god knows what goes on. Women of various nationalities offering various sex acts. Etc.

Here in Barcelona I’m not really sure where the hot spots are. But I guess they exist.

En fin… prostitution is pretty common. Apparently, 39% of Spanish men have gone to a prostitute at some point. It’s a significant part of the Spanish GDP – so much so that the government once suggested they might start counting it officially, in order to make the economic data look better. Estimates say there are around 300,000 prostitutes in Spain, but of course, that varies according to who you ask.

I originally wasn’t sure if the younger generations were doing it as well – the guys I know who’ve talked about their “hookers and blow days” were mostly older. But when I did research for an article about prostitution, I found some reports that the clientele for brothels was actually getting younger.

By the way, that number, 39%, is well above the rates in other European countries.

Even in The Netherlands – famous for its sex tourism – men are less likely to pay for sex.

I remember that back in the day when El País had classified ads, about 80% of them were for prostitutes. Starting at 30€ you could do pretty much anything.

Have prices gone up since then? Or – like English teachers’ salaries – have they stayed depressingly low?

I’m not sure. But I bet you could find out on your own, if that’s your thing.

And here’s another big issue…

Do Spanish men have small penises?

Okay, maybe I should say the small issue.

You can find some articles out there claiming that Spanish men are among the world’s best lovers.

But in my research I also found data saying that Spanish men had some of the smallest penises in Europe.

Is it true? I don’t know!

Years ago, I used to go to a gym for martial arts. I’d see dozens of Spanish penises every day, in the locker room. None of them struck me as particularly small. But what do I know?

(Quick tip on locker room etiquette: don’t stare at other dudes’ junk).

In any case, I guess the size of the flaccid member doesn’t say much about the size of the erect one.

Perhaps some reader who’s more intimately acquainted with Spanish manhood can leave a comment about this.

In any case, most of the penis size data out there is self-reported.

(And I’m packing 24 cm, if anybody’s wondering.)

And then there’s another biggie…

Who’s having the best sex in Spain?

This burning question needs to be addressed – who are the best lovers among Spanish regions? And who’s having the most sex?

Well, I’m not sure how you’d establish, statistically, who’s better in bed.

Set up a study in which people have sex with residents of all 17 comunidades autónomas (plus Ceuta and Melilla) under controlled conditions in a laboratory? Probably hard to get funding for.

But until then, it seems like any “data” of this type must be purely anecdotal – “So I got with this chick from Aragón one time and let me tell you…”

I’ve personally written, in an article about Spanish stereotypes, and about how my suspicion (variously tested, of course, over many years in Spain) is that the myth of the Passionate Spanish Lover is just that – a myth.

In any case, a recent study done by a condom manufacturer says that people from Andalucía are Spain’s best lovers. How did they come to that conclusion? No idea.

sex in spain
Madrid has a strong LGBT community. I’m not an expert, but if YOU are and want to write a guest post about it, please let me know.

Now, if we’re talking about frequency of intercourse, it’s Cantabria and the islands (Canaries and Balearic) that top the list.

In any case, Salon.com lists Spain as one of the top 10 countries where people are the most sexually satisfied. Sounds pretty good to me.

Also worth mentioning: people from La Rioja buy a lot of anal beads.

(The online sex toy shop Amantis.net says so, I wouldn’t know.)

And finally…

Some stats on sexual infidelity in Spain

Are Spaniards a bunch of big cheaters?

My friend and famous sex blogger Venus O’Hara says infidelity is rampant in Spain.

According to O’Hara, she’s almost more surprised when Spanish people say they are faithful.

sex in spain with venus ohara
Sex Toy Tester Venus O’Hara has thought a lot about sex in Spain – she lives in Barcelona.

She chalks it up to the importance of family and the relative infrequency of divorce. Better to keep the family together, even if it means getting some action on the side now and then.

And the data says that anywhere from 30 to 80% of Spaniards have been unfaithful to their partner.

In fact, according to Ashley Madison, a “dating” site for married people, Spain is the most unfaithful country in Europe.

Venus is a friend, by the way, and I learned a lot from her book Inglés para pervertidos (now, unfortunately, out of print). You can find more from her on Twitter, or check out the Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast on Spotify and elsewhere.

Anyway, I expect that infidelity data is just as self-reported as penis size is, and so people might be less than honest when asked about their extra-marital affairs. But who knows.

(Most of the guys I’ve known who talked about going to prostitutes were married. But is that the same as cheating? Well, not exactly. I guess.)

Finally, to wrap this up tight…

Sex in Spain: (almost) everybody’s doing it

I know I spend a lot of time generalizing on this blog.

But sex is something I try not to generalize about too much. It’s just too personal and too variable. Also, I have a feeling almost everyone is lying.

Even if it’s in the interest of science, a question like “How likely are you to cheat on your husband or wife?” is going to be tough to answer honestly.

And don’t even get me started on those guys who spend a week in Thailand and now claim to be experts on the female mind everywhere east of Istanbul. “Y’see, the thing about Asian women is blah blah blah…”

That’s why I’ve tried to make this article about data (even if I don’t necessarily believe all of it) and my personal experiences.

In fact, I did see some people having sex in a park one time.

It was about my second month in Madrid, a very long time ago, when I lived in Lucero. It was the middle of the day, but ridiculously cold out. There were 4 young people gettin’ their freak on. The girls had pulled up their miniskirts and pulled down their tights, and they were riding some dudes in puffy jackets and baseball caps, cowgirl style.

I just wanted to get to wherever I was going, and ignored them. My hands were freezing and I didn’t care who wanted to show their ass in some park in las afueras.

Welcome to Spain, I thought. Now when am I gonna get some action?

For the answer to that question, you’ll just have to read my classic article about dating Spanish girls.

Are Spaniards sexier than people from other countries?

Personally, I appreciate the beauty of Spanish women quite a bit. And I’ve fount people to be pretty open about sexual matters, in my time here.

In any case, I felt totally vanilla after researching this article.

I walked around the barrio afterwards, looking at people on the streets, wondering: How many of these perfectly normal-looking folks are into stuff I’d consider to be pretty wild?

Is that guy at the bus stop taking his wife to a swinger’s party in some parking lot later tonight?

Is the girl working at the bank sneaking off on her breaks to write reviews of the best Burger King bathrooms to have sex in?

Are the abuelas secretly fantasizing about their extra-marital affairs and their anal beads while standing in line at the fishmonger?

I may never know – I don’t usually stop them and ask.

Wishing you all a satisfying sex life…

Yours,

Mr Chorizo.

P.S. I guess I should say that all of the activities mentioned in this article are practiced around the world in one way or another. Marital infidelity is not exclusively Spanish, obviously. Dogging was “invented” in the UK – although I’m sure the Greeks and Romans were fucking in parks long before your Aunt Mildred from Birmingham was born. And there were people buying anal beads in feudal Japan. Prostitution is called “the oldest profession” – although horticulturalists and cattle drovers are claiming to be even older. Anyway, I’d love to know what you think about sex in Spain. Tell me all the hot, steamy details… Right here in the comments. Thanks!

P.P.S. Sex is fun and everything, but sometimes you’ve gotta go to work. For that reason, I’ve written a brand new guide to working in Spain. Enjoy!

P.P.P.S. If you’d like to hear about my sex life, I’ve got some articles about that too. Check out, for example: Sex, Booze and Phrasal Verbs. It’s good.

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About the Author Daniel

How did I end up in Spain? Why am I still here almost 20 years later? Excellent questions. With no good answer... Anyway, at some point I became a blogger, bestselling author and contributor to Lonely Planet. So there's that. Drop me a line, I'm happy to hear from you.

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  1. Found your blog today, i can recognize a lot of your statements. I live in Barcelona for 18 months now and sex is indeed very casual. I date a lot and my statistics is sex with every 3 out of 10 women i meet. However the majority of these women are latin americans or other newcomers to the town. Infidelity yes, 1 of 10-20 approximately on Tinder is in a relationship already and look for “fun” these women are extremely picky though! Sex in public, I have suggested to multiple women, but the counter answer always been “I live nearby or where do you live?”

    1. Hey Thomas, that’s not really my scene, but I bet you could hang around in the Chueca area and see what’s going on. That’s the neighborhood where most of the gay stuff happens. If anyone else has a better idea, please comment here. Thanks!

      1. Thank. I’ll give it a go and tell you what will happen. Really, it is not actually my scene either. I am just intrigued!

  2. Sooo I’m Very Late to Reading This. Never Thought I Would Need It But I recently Accepted A job As An Flight attendant And I’m Going To Be Based In Barcelona I Just want To Know About Safe Places To Live In Barcelona??.And if your ever going to do and article about Dating Spanish(Barcelona)Men? I’m 28 and inexperienced(Never Had A Boyfriend) So I’m Wondering Is there Any Do’s and don’ts?? Since you have lived/still live there for 12 years you’ve probably seen/heard it all.

    1. Hey Maci, I’m not really an expert in dating Spanish men, and I haven’t found someone to write a guide yet… but I’d love to!

      About the safest places, I’m not sure… the more central and touristy areas seem to be LESS safe. But places like L’Eixample would probably be fine.

      Enjoy!

  3. Daniel, To add to one part you talked about with Spanish men. I am dating one and they are not small at all. They are incredible lovers and incredibly romantic. They are in tune with their emotions which is huge because in North America you rarely get a guy who makes a woman feel special. Something about Spanish men they really take relationships seriously and know what they want. Once they know you are the one they want they do not hold back on anything. It is incredible because i have never seen this in North America ever. I will stick with my Spanish man any day over any other. A way to a Spanish mans heart, be good to kids and really know how to cook. If you don’t take classes.

  4. Really enjoying this article!
    Love your journalism!
    24cm???
    Hmmm…

    Spanish guys don’t have small penises I think (compared to Asian men) but I wouldn’t say they are good lovers, in my opinion, the rising of cheating men also grosses me out.

    Young Spanish people don’t pay for sex, and they hardly pick up the bills at bars or restaurants too. They can go on Tinder. Lots of loose guys there. In my opinion.

  5. I’m romantically involved with a woman in Barcelona online since a few months, I’m visiting her soon to spend few weeks with her, she seems very sweet and is very shy too over video calls but I’m not sure about it anymore after knowing her sexual history, she’s had a lot of casual sex, never been in a relationship more than 9 months, contracted STD once (now gone), done an abortion, she even slept a few times with a man who cleans floors/stuff for living (I’m being prejudiced here but women in my country would not even look towards men who do cleaning work, let alone have sex with them, maybe I have a lot to adapt to).
    Now she lives alone, never married and works at the same place since over a decade. I’m trying to understand if it’s a casual thing for women there or it’s just that this girl had quite an adventure in her life.
    I would love some insights or views you have around this because I’m considering to spend my life with her seriously and I’m not sure if these are some RED flags I’m not accepting. I know I’ve taken the talk in a different direction sorry for that.

  6. It was an informative post. There were many things I didn’t know about Spanish sex. Supposedly beaches are good for having sex… And Spain has plenty of them

  7. In Spain, explicit consent is now required for sex. The so-called “only yes is yes” law passed by parliament in Madrid takes care of that. That law ensures that rape is punishable even if a victim does not resist.

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